Here are 10 things I believe fiercely at this stage in my life. They are in no particular order, but all pretty important.
1. In life you have to wear blinders.
It is so easy to get caught up in the demands of society, You're too much. You're not enough. You're too fat or too skinny. You're too loud or not outspoken enough. Your hair isn't long enough, Your clothes aren't hip enough. You have wrinkles. This or that person is more successful than you in a shorter period of time. It's all BS. Comparison is the thief of joy. Life is too short to live comparing. Put those blinders on and do your own damn thing. The world will thank you. You will thank you.
2. NOTHING is more important than family. NOTHING.
This isn't a directive to drop everything you're doing and focus on family. You DO need your own hobby and time to yourself and all that great stuff. What I mean to say here is that when it all boils down to it, they are what truly matters. Hug your kids tight. Tell your husband how much he means to you. Be present in the moment when you're with them because those moments fade too quickly. People told me that when I had kids, time would start speeding by...that was an incredible understatement.
3. You should never talk about other women or yourself in a negative way around little girls.
This is serious! Far too often do women feel inadequate and when you really look deeply into it, it's because they are comparing themselves to other women. Why do we do that? We do it, because other women modeled for us how to do it. Our moms, our aunts, our grandmothers, our neighbors, the characters in sitcoms. You get it. Whether consciously or mostly not, we have been inundated with comments such as, "I'm too fat." "Wow, she has gained a lot of weight recently." "Oh my God, you are so skinny! You look amazing!" "That bitch is so skinny. I hate her!" From the time we are able to understand English, we are listening to the women older than us make comments like this. It's drilled into our subconscious. We do this or have done this, myself included. Almost all of us. We comment on body size in relation to beauty and self worth, whether it's in genuine concern for the health of those we love, jealousy, self loathing, etc. It needs to stop.
We need to teach our daughters that a number on a scale does not equate beauty or value. We need to teach our daughters that we eat well and exercise to be well - not for a jean size. Next time you're in the car with your cousin and your daughter is in the back seat, refrain from discussing how fat or skinny your mutual friend has gotten...or you, yourself have gotten. As a matter of fact, even if your daughter isn't in the back seat - just don't say it.
4. Strong women empower women.
Life is not a competition. We are all on this journey on this planet for the very first time. We are doing the best we can and it is damn hard. Have grace for each other. If she looks gorgeous, instead of hating her for her beauty, tell her how beautiful she is. Chances are, she doesn't even realize it. If she's more "successful" than you (which is only perception anyways), congratulate her on her success! Support other women in their business ventures and hobbies - no matter what they are. We are all fighting here to be heard, to be known, to be seen, to make a difference. Help your sisters out. If we stopped being jealous of each other and instead started to lift each other up in unwavering support, women would rock this world's socks off! Can you imagine? We need each other. Let's face it, women are the only ones who get women.
5. There is no pill or drug that can take the place of good food and exercise.
Exercise -It's a stress reliever, an energy booster, an endorphine releaser, and a confidence giver. Food can be used to fight disease and boost immunity, to build up your energy and balance your hormones. Did I mention that you don't feel like crap when you don't eat crap. These two together are like a unicorn miracle and all based on common sense. Feed yourself food that comes right from the earth. Move. I promise you that you will feel better!
6. Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes life seems like it sucks and then a week later you can turn around and see clear as day how lucky you are that your misfortune happened. Sometimes its quick and clear and sometimes it takes a long time to see and it's very subtle. The thing is that every tiny moment, mistake, folly, challenge is here to teach you a lesson or build your character. How does that saying go? "You don't always end up where you thought you were going, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be."
1. In life you have to wear blinders.
It is so easy to get caught up in the demands of society, You're too much. You're not enough. You're too fat or too skinny. You're too loud or not outspoken enough. Your hair isn't long enough, Your clothes aren't hip enough. You have wrinkles. This or that person is more successful than you in a shorter period of time. It's all BS. Comparison is the thief of joy. Life is too short to live comparing. Put those blinders on and do your own damn thing. The world will thank you. You will thank you.
2. NOTHING is more important than family. NOTHING.
This isn't a directive to drop everything you're doing and focus on family. You DO need your own hobby and time to yourself and all that great stuff. What I mean to say here is that when it all boils down to it, they are what truly matters. Hug your kids tight. Tell your husband how much he means to you. Be present in the moment when you're with them because those moments fade too quickly. People told me that when I had kids, time would start speeding by...that was an incredible understatement.
3. You should never talk about other women or yourself in a negative way around little girls.
This is serious! Far too often do women feel inadequate and when you really look deeply into it, it's because they are comparing themselves to other women. Why do we do that? We do it, because other women modeled for us how to do it. Our moms, our aunts, our grandmothers, our neighbors, the characters in sitcoms. You get it. Whether consciously or mostly not, we have been inundated with comments such as, "I'm too fat." "Wow, she has gained a lot of weight recently." "Oh my God, you are so skinny! You look amazing!" "That bitch is so skinny. I hate her!" From the time we are able to understand English, we are listening to the women older than us make comments like this. It's drilled into our subconscious. We do this or have done this, myself included. Almost all of us. We comment on body size in relation to beauty and self worth, whether it's in genuine concern for the health of those we love, jealousy, self loathing, etc. It needs to stop.
We need to teach our daughters that a number on a scale does not equate beauty or value. We need to teach our daughters that we eat well and exercise to be well - not for a jean size. Next time you're in the car with your cousin and your daughter is in the back seat, refrain from discussing how fat or skinny your mutual friend has gotten...or you, yourself have gotten. As a matter of fact, even if your daughter isn't in the back seat - just don't say it.
4. Strong women empower women.
Life is not a competition. We are all on this journey on this planet for the very first time. We are doing the best we can and it is damn hard. Have grace for each other. If she looks gorgeous, instead of hating her for her beauty, tell her how beautiful she is. Chances are, she doesn't even realize it. If she's more "successful" than you (which is only perception anyways), congratulate her on her success! Support other women in their business ventures and hobbies - no matter what they are. We are all fighting here to be heard, to be known, to be seen, to make a difference. Help your sisters out. If we stopped being jealous of each other and instead started to lift each other up in unwavering support, women would rock this world's socks off! Can you imagine? We need each other. Let's face it, women are the only ones who get women.
5. There is no pill or drug that can take the place of good food and exercise.
Exercise -It's a stress reliever, an energy booster, an endorphine releaser, and a confidence giver. Food can be used to fight disease and boost immunity, to build up your energy and balance your hormones. Did I mention that you don't feel like crap when you don't eat crap. These two together are like a unicorn miracle and all based on common sense. Feed yourself food that comes right from the earth. Move. I promise you that you will feel better!
6. Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes life seems like it sucks and then a week later you can turn around and see clear as day how lucky you are that your misfortune happened. Sometimes its quick and clear and sometimes it takes a long time to see and it's very subtle. The thing is that every tiny moment, mistake, folly, challenge is here to teach you a lesson or build your character. How does that saying go? "You don't always end up where you thought you were going, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be."